The final results are in! Last Sunday I completed my second Lone Gull 10K and here are my results compared to last year:
Last year: This Year:
8:32 min miles 8:06 min miles
248 out of 564 runners 139 out of 630 runners
42 out of 175 in age division 11 out of 94 in age division
I did pretty good. Unfortunately I did not meet my goal, which I am kind of sad about. My goal was under 50 mins. and being in the top 10 would have been a bonus (I would have had to hit under 49 mins for that to happen, so maybe next year).
I guess why I am disappointed was because I didn’t enjoy the race either. The first mile “negative Nancy” (you might know her by another name, but she is the negative voice in my head) started badgering me with comments like, “you should have worked out more because I don’t think you can do this!” “What were you even thinking doing this again. You could turn around now, take off your number and just go home.” I mean it was serious! I tried every attempt at shaking her off and letting her fly into the ocean (after all I was running alongside it and it was a gorgeous day!). But she would go nowhere. It only got better after getting to the halfway mark (5K, 3.1mile marker) that I turned on negative Nancy and was like, “I gotta get back somehow! I might as well run back!” This is not to say the run got easier, I just got more determined. I began to think back at how my split times were faster this time than last year. How I had a goal of under 50 mins and I could possibly make it if I kept up the same pace. How Dave has not seen me cross this finish line because he was out of town for last year’s race. There were all kinds of good thoughts that were finally going through my head, FINALLY!
When I got to the 5.5 mile point I was even more determined to make it. But felt I had used up all my energy to get to this point. That is when I turned it over to a source greater than myself, I call him “God” but you can call him your own name. I just said if you want me to finish than you have to carry me because I am spent (it takes a lot to battle those negative thoughts in your head and run fast!). I was provided with energy to cross that line at the end and almost reach my goal time. I take responsibility for not making my goal due to the many external forces I let infiltrate my mind. This just makes me more determined for the next time.
I know you are probably thinking, hey crazy girl (I’m getting pretty use to being called that in my blog), you still did awesome over last year. You are still improving and now you have a better goal for next year. That is true! And I do! And that plan to change things starts now. I am still figuring out how but I will keep you updated.
I think the biggest lesson I learned is how much energy we give negative thoughts. How I could’ve let her win! But I pushed through and now I need to make some changes and most of all STAY OUT OF MY HEAD for a little while, at least until I can get in more positive space and quit beating myself up.