I talk a lot in my work about awareness and how if we actually took a moment to look at things around we would see connections in life events. Today, I had many of those moments and they were so impactful my brain kept saying, “Blog about it! Mainly so you will remember it happened once life gets crazy again.” So here I am sharing….
My day was filled with ups and downs like always but today I just took it all in and savored it. I enjoyed spending time with my clients in groups and in the hallways, then spending a long lunch hanging out with the other Clinicians laughing and just having fun. The full circle moment came when I got in my car at the end of the day and turned on the car. A song by Rascal Flatts was playing in my cd player and the lyrics that it was on (rather loudly because I was jamming on my way to work at 6am this morning) were “she’s leaving”, very fitting as I was driving away. When I looked in my rearview mirror all I saw was the huge butterfly balloon that one of my friends gave me and it seemed so appropriate. It brought tears to my eyes to realize over a year and half ago I started with this company during grad school when I had never sat in front of a client much less 32 and held group. I began to think about how much I have metamorphosed into a butterfly. A very colorful butterfly who was shaped and colored by this experience. Because of this place I feel confident that I have made a good choice to continue my career. I am thankful for every experience I had and grateful for all the wonderful people I meet.
I wonder if you have ever had a full circle moment. The type of moment where everything just fell into place and you understood why things happened like they did. If so, you know where I am. If not, what is keeping you from really taking a breath and being aware of things around you, moments happening in your life, and learning from events that may not mean a lot at the time but they will. Try it! You may like it!
1.movement, passage, or change from one position, state,stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change:
Thank you Dictionary.com for defining where I am, in the middle of a transition. Am I scared? Well yes, I am human! Am I excited? Yep. But still nervous.
Here’s the scoop: When I started grad school I wanted to work in a college setting as an academic advisor and by the time I graduated I was employed full-time as a Clinician in Substance Abuse and Addiction. Can it get any farther away from my original plan? Not really sure. But it has. Now I find myself transitioning on to another point in my career. I have given my notice at work and will be taking on an outpatient clinician role at the end of the month. So that is where I am right now. I have one more day at work and then a few weeks off to take a much needed break but I am still nervous. As I have said in the past, I am my own worst client.
I’m trying to figure out why I am so nervous about this transition. I think it has to do with the unknown. The known is that I will have Clients (I better because if I don’t, they won’t pay me!). Also, the known is that I will get to sleep a little later than I do right now (5:30 am comes very early) and I will get to stay up a little later with my family (bed by 9:ish because again 5:30am comes early!). The other known is that I met some of the therapist I will be working with and they seem really nice. Also, this job is closer to home so my commute will be only about 5 – 10 mins, instead of 25-30 mins (Yeah for saving gas too!) These are all great things in my known category.
Now the unknown: I’ve been in inpatient for my career and now outpatient is different so I learn to adapt and hope I can do it fast. Will they like me? (Don’t we all have that thought going through our heads when we change jobs or meet new people.) I hope so, I’m pretty likeable (at least that is what I like to think!). Will I be able to do the job? I tend to think this a lot too and it comes down to my confidence in my abilities. (Still working on that but aren’t we all a work in progress)
So tomorrow is my last day at my current job and when I leave I take with me some wonderful experiences and some not so wonderful experiences but in the end I have grown and feel ready for this transition. And the good news is that I have lots of phone numbers of people to call if I need a boost of confidence (isn’t it nice to have people who believe in you!). I already feel better about making this transition!
I believe this, I hope you do to!
Today was one of those rare fall days in the northeast that the temp reaches almost 80 and it feels wonderful to be outside. So I took advantage of it. I didn’t do my long run today because I did a 6.5 mile run last night in the mist which felt really refreshing and nice. Which meant today, no run, just relaxing and getting stuff done.
I decided to surprise my other half with a picnic. I wanted it to look like this:
But instead it was more my style, thrown together with lots of meaning with the door open on our RAV4 feet hanging out and relaxing on couch pillows for comfort with homemade sandwiches and great conversation and a little ipod music thrown in for good measure. I enjoy these moments.
I found myself just relaxed. I can’t say I have felt that way in a while. Fall is my favorite time of year and I feel like it comes and goes so fast that I want to enjoy it. And enjoying it with someone you love is pretty awesome.
I wonder if we can all take some moments out of every day to just relax and enjoy. I believe that each day is a gift and we are not promised another. Today I really enjoyed my gift (and still enjoying because it is only early afternoon) and I am going to try every day to take a moment and enjoy! I hope you will too.
This is my word for the year. Gratitude. Since Jan. 1, 2012 I have spent a lot of time with this word. To me gratitude means being thankful for what I already have been given. Another word that pops up when I reflect on gratitude is awareness. In order to be thankful for what I have I need to be aware. Also in order to be thankful for new things that come into my life, I need to be aware.
So I tackled this word by starting a gratitude journal. I was given a regular calendar with a page a day available for appointments (I guess someone thought I wasn’t very organized!) so I decided to use it instead as my journal. Each day when I eat my breakfast (I find it better to do it at the beginning of the day because it also helps to put me in a positive space for the day) I challenge myself to come up with several new things I am grateful for.
Here is a cool example of a journal that I think I will make mine look like next year (or something more creative than dayminder calendar 2012):
When I started this journal I was in great space. Things were going wonderful and I was really thinking that this journal would be pretty easy. But boy was I wrong! Life began to take a turn and became challenging at almost every corner I turned. I had trouble some mornings thinking about anything to be thankful for. But I persisted! I found that if I started my morning just remembering the little things like breathing, waking up in the morning, and the reason I was waking up, I had a job, it kept me going.
Now I find myself 10 months into this journey with things in my life having changed pretty dramatically in some areas and in others they have gotten back to some normality and I am grateful for it all. I still journal every morning about the things I am grateful for and I still come up with new things.
But really the biggest thing this process has done is helped me to stay focused in my day, keep me in a positive mental attitude and taught me that by being grateful I can change my mood when I am feeling down.
Are you willing to try making a gratitude journal? What are some things you are grateful for today?
Training Tuesday is brought to you by the letter O as in OOOOOoouuuuucccccchhhhhh!
Word of advice: “Never tell your trainer that you are going to have to take a break in 3 weeks because you are changing jobs and you need time to adjust!” I believe that it gives him the incentive to work you harder. At least that is what he did Monday night. Can you say brutal? I hope it is worth it!
Due to that torture, today was difficult. I did make it to the gym and for that I deserve an “A” for effort.
I was even able to run 3 miles before my legs screamed “enough”. So being a person who doesn’t want to get hurt, I stopped and spent about 20 mins stretching out those screaming legs. Now I have to figure out how to make the screaming rest of my body relax. I’m thinking a good night’s sleep followed by a long hot shower in the morning will help. Oh and maybe a little ibuprofen in between.
Off to sleep to dream of a body in less pain and witty new blogs for tomorrow!
My journey has been long and hard at times but I appreciate all I have learned along the way. I look back on my journey and agree that it has molded me and I am better, stronger, and able to face situations better because of what I have been through. I am excited for new things along my road. I am optimistic that these too will be molding events.
Think about your journey. Can you find motivation to continue on through all you have learned? I hope so. You are worth it!