I’m a mom. I know, I know, you’re shocked that I am a parent (if only you read my bio you might know a little something about me.) 🙂 The other reaction could be, “there is no way someone who looks so young could be a parent of an 18.5 year old. (I have to add the .5 because sometimes that is the age I feel like my child is at.)
Anyway… I find it funny the expectations that your children place on you. For all of you parents out there you know your child’s expectations, “you are supposed to do all that I ask and be able to read my mind”! At least that is how it feels some of the time, okay, most of the time. I write this as my child has just informed me that I need to be somewhere until late on Sunday night because in her opinion that is the right thing to do. Well that is great but I have my own expectations and things I need to get done. Right now, especially while I train for the marathon which is officially two months away today, I need to spend a little time focusing on myself and getting looooonnnggg runs in. I love other people, I spend time everyday taking care of others but on the weekends I am trying to concentrate on some of my own needs. Afterall isn’t that what we are supposed to teach our kids that by taking care of ourselves we show that we are important too. This in no way takes away from caring for them but by the age of 18.5 years old there are some things I no longer should need to do.
Okay, I could be ranting but really what are the expectations we should have for ourselves and others. I had this great discussion tonight at our midweek date night (which is really occurring because of the events I have to be at with my daughter all weekend). I have huge expectations for myself, clients, employers, friends, and colleagues. I truly am unsure how to change these things. I want to learn to relax and maybe not expect so much from others but am unsure how to do this. Any advice at this point is very much appreciated!
Do we change our expectations depending on the source? (I would say yes but what do you think.)
How do we not get discouraged when our high expectations are continuously not met? Lower them?
These are all questions that I feel like I am continuously processing so any help would be appreciated and I am sure suggestions will make it into another blog about expectations which I am sure will come very soon!
I haven’t posted a Wacky Wednesday in a while but I thought this was a good description of what happened to me today. I had a somewhat normal day at work seeing Clients, traveling all around with only one person who didn’t show up, that’s pretty good and what I like to consider a success. I finished early (to me early is anything before 5pm) and was able to get to the gym by 4:45pm.
So I’m running along, with a goal to run for an hour but really thinking I should get in a long run which right now is at least 10 miles. Since the treadmill only goes up to 10 miles, I guess that was really my cap tonight.
Anyway back to the story… at about mile 2 I started thinking (always dangerous!). Earlier in the month I went and got my new shoes to break in before the crazy marathon thing that I signed up for, and it dawned on me that I bought the wrong shoes. I know crazy right! I even stood on the sides of the treadmill and tried to glance down at my shoes to make sure that was what happened. I was such a crazy, sweaty sight. “Oh look a crazy person trying to read her shoes in the middle of a workout!” (I am sure anyone who might have been watching exclaimed this to someone) I have been wearing the same brand of shoes (Sauconey) for a while and when I went into the running shoe store I told them I wear the “Triumphs” so they brought them out. I tried them on and then bought them. And tonight I realized that those are not the shoes I have been wearing (it only took me a month to tune into a purchase I made earlier in the month so I think that goes along with me being in a funk and maybe this in another example of me coming out of it). I bought “Triumphs” when I first started running and changed to “Rides” and thought they were great and I was so glad I switched. Ideally it would be great to take these expensive shoes back to the store and get the proper ones but I don’t think I could do that. Plus I am wondering a couple of things: Do I go ahead and buy the Rides and continue my training? Do I just suck it up and stay with the Triumphs? Why do I lose my mind when I go into stores to get something for myself? (I think it is just the pressure of spending money on myself because I am so use to spending money on others and Oh yeah this marathon running thing is a little overwhelming.)
In analyzing my wacky Wednesday, I think I have decided to purchase the new “rides”. I haven’t really had a great run since I bought these shoes (the wrong ones) and I am hoping that the new ones will bring back that “lovin’ feelin”. (Hey I couldn’t resist!) Do you have any thoughts? I haven’t made the purchase but since I know my size I will probably just buy them online with the hope that since I am doing it from the comfort of my own home I won’t make the mistake.
Ever realized a mistake after a month? Please say yes because I can’t do this alone. I need to know that there are others out there like me. I would love to hear input.
Tonight was Bunco. For those of you who don’t know, Bunco is a dice game that you play with at least 8 people. I have been playing this game for about 8 years with almost the same group of wonderful women. At times, especially recently, I have been known to not look forward to anything outside of coming home and putting on my pj’s after work and doing what I call relaxing. In retrospect it is more like being lazy. Tonight however was different. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks and I am still feeling a little off but I went to Bunco. I had a great time. I really love the camaraderie of being around a group of women who have known me for so long. It is great to hear their input into my struggles as well as be able to offer help to those who ask for my opinion.
So what I learned from tonight (because that is how I roll, always looking to learn something in the midst of struggles) is pushing yourself out of your funk may sometimes include doing things that you don’t want to do. Just going to something because of the commitment you have made with the knowledge that others know you very well and can provide insight that you might be missing. (I hope that made sense!) Anyway, tonight I am going to bed feeling a little better about myself and knowing that I can make it through the rest of the week because of these wonderful women and all the laughs we shared this evening and over these past 8 years. Thank you! Oh yes, it did help that I won the $16 cash tonight! Yeah for some lunch money for the rest of the week! 🙂
Do you ever have those feelings where you just feel a little off? It may last just a moment, a day, or for me it has lasted quite a bit longer. How do you get turned back on (not that kind of turned on you crazy people)?! I would like to say it is easy and it is like a switch but that doesn’t seem to be the truth. For me it is a struggle. I feel trapped in my head and I can’t get out of my own way.
Today I began to turn a corner (or at least I am hoping I have). I am writing my blog for one, haven’t done that in a while. I went and did something I haven’t done in a while too, went to the movies after work with my daughter and enjoyed it. Then had a great dinner with my family and laughed. I’m attempting to get out of my head. Quit thinking about my clients and the needs of others. Quit worrying about making my numbers for work. I am trying to find the better balance. I know I talk about this a lot but maybe because it is so difficult to obtain, Balance! I can barely walk some times because I trip over imaginary things on the road much less balance my life.
So this week I think I am going to spend the rest of it trying to actually get in touch with feelings on a daily basis. Release the negative that is holding my back and focus more on the positive: I have an awesome family who loves me, a job that allows me to help others, and of course two cats who love for me to love them!
Have you felt off? How did you get back on? I would love to hear your ideas.
Today’s Daily Prompt was this question: Explain why you chose your blog’s title and what it means to you.
I think my name (therunningtherapist) is kind of self-explanatory. But I guess I could have chosen something a little more aloof. I chose the name because I knew I wanted my blog to be about my running, progress I was making, challenges I was facing and things I had accomplished while doing it. The therapist part was because I guess that is how I identify myself pretty much every day. When people ask what I do for a living I describe myself as a therapist which then prompts all kinds of questions like physical therapist? I tell them kind of but my physical therapy is on the brain. Let me tell you that gets some strange looks. Well what can I say, I like to be funny! I do clear it up and let them know that I am a mental health therapist which then has many people asking about whether I think they are crazy. To which I reply in my good Forest Gump voice “Crazy is as crazy does!”
I want my blog to reach many people not just runners but those looking to be inspired, motivated, or just know that we all face times of struggle, it’s how we handle it that makes us strong!
Another favorite Forest Gump Quote: My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” So true!!!
~Display the award logo on your blog
~Link back to the person who nominated you
~State 7 things about yourself
~Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and link to them
~Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.
This is the first blogger award I’ve been nominated for. I still feel so new to this blogging business. I love the idea of other bloggers nominating each other and this one really hits home because after all that is what I try to do. Inspire people, not only daily through my work but hopefully through this blog. This is the wonderful blogger who nominated me, fitin52. Take a moment and check out her blog. She is inspiring in her determination to get in shape this year. Don’t we all want to be in better health! And one more thank you for Amy for making me one of her 15 blogger choices. You rock and keep up the great and inspiring work!
Seven Things About Myself :
1. I love to inspire others to try new things and step out of their box.
2. Sometimes my main motivation to run is so I can eat dessert, chocolate or not so healthy things!
3. I love to laugh!
4. I procrastinate by baking, cleaning, or anything that keeps me away from the thing I need to face. But really this allows me time to think and run all the scenarios in my mind. So I guess it is health procrastination.
5. I am a homebody. I love to be home and with my family. Traveling is fun but spending time relaxing at home is great!
6. I haven’t had a soda/pop/coke/any carbonation in 18 years since my child was born. Oh the things that you become allergic too after you give birth!
7. I think I would like to be a motivational speaker one of these days soon!
This was a very difficult list to get down to. Either I read to many blogs or maybe I just find inspiration in so many different people. There were some I didn’t put on her because they were nominated by the person who nominated me and I didn’t want to overwhelm them to much. If you have time check out this blog because I find John very inspiring and he posts daily (which is way better than I do!)
How do you get it? Why are some people more motivated to do things than others? I so wish I had the answer for that question. Not just for myself but for my clients as well. I recently (within the past few months) began thinking about my goals for the future and what I want to do. I chatted with my other half about becoming a motivational speaker of some sort. I love the energy I get out of doing groups and I have been told by others (I like to think many others) that I inspire them to do better. But I am still unsure how to do the speaking part. I guess right now my voice is right here through this blog!
Tonight when I was coming home from my last client of the day I was thinking how different each one of my clients are and how each one of them has different things that motivate them (some having no motivation at all but that is life). I wondered if there are some things that all of us are motivated by. Here is the small list I came up with that motivates most people:
Money (I know a shocker!)
Family (not only wanting a better life for our family but sometimes our family literally tries to kick us in the pants to motivate us!)
Having a better life (I guess you get that by having more money but that is not always the answer. Sometimes having a better life means making better choices for yourself like eating better, exercising more and even ending a relationship that is toxic.)
I am wondering if there are other things that motivate us to take action or are these three things the primary reasons we are motivated to make changes?
The next question is once we are motivated, how do we stay there? For me I try to surround myself with positive thoughts (see all of my motivational Monday quotes, as well as my facebook page has constant daily quotes). I also know that in order to stay motivated I have to be gentle with myself and realize that not every day is going to be a motivated kind of day. Some days are just gonna be the ones you never want to repeat but even those, I have been spending time trying to learn something from.
So how do you stay motivated? Do you have ideas for things that keep you motivated? I would love to hear them all.