Sometimes I wonder if I am just very dingy or if I just don’t quite understand things when they are happening. I like to think that when I am with my clients I am able to help them and provide them with good insight but when things happen to me, I tend to just let them happen and then later think, why didn’t I say anything. Something like this happened to me tonight. I was at a dessert bar having well, dessert, and I ran into someone I know. She was with others and we struck up a conversation. One of these individuals informed me that the reason I was able to teach a class at a local university was because I am blonde and skinny.
I have been sitting here pondering this horrible remark and wondering why I didn’t say anything to her about why she felt it was necessary to say something like this. I mean I was glad that all my hard work in the gym/training has paid off but I like to think I have a ton more to give than my body. I like to think I am pretty intelligent. I think my biggest regret is that it took me a good 40 mins to process what was said and why I didn’t say something in the moment to rebut what she had said. Maybe it is that I am too nice, maybe it was I really didn’t give what she said any worth, or maybe I felt what I said at the moment was enough which was explaining how I came upon the opportunity. Whatever it was, I am thinking whether I would have handled the situation different if I was a in a different mood. When I am out with my other half, I am relaxed and enjoying my time so I am not on guard about what people are saying. I just let things happen.
I guess I wonder the most why would someone say something like that. My biggest thought is jealously. I really hate that word but I feel like I have those moments of jealously where I think something but don’t necessarily say it. I guess my hope is that she begins to think about things before she says them and then the other part me wants to show her that I can do this as well as other things and be very successful! Oh and I probably will continue to have these moments, continue to not say anything to someone but will continue to grow and become a successful therapist. Just a thought and something to wonder about…..