Do you have it?

I’m searching, maybe you can help me.  I’m in search of something that helps me feel less anxious, helps me to remember all things will be fine, helps me see a brighter side, and helps me take criticism with a grain of salt.  I’m wondering if you have it?  I feel like I left mine somewhere recently and I have not been able to locate it.  I’ve run and looked down along the way to see if I dropped it.  I cleaned and looked in the cracks and crevices to see if it got pushed into the corner.  I’m getting really desperate.  I need it.  Without it, I am not a pleasant person to be around, I want to cry at the drop of the hat, and I am on that emotional roller coaster.  And probably the worst thing is that I’m not enjoying life.  I’m not cherishing like my word of the year has challenged me to do. 

What is it I’m looking for?

I call it my spirit, my happy, grateful me.  Someone I want to be around all the time.  I’m not sure how it got lost or where it went but I need it back.  I’m beginning to wonder whether I lent it to someone and forgot who.

This is how I want to feel again.  Like Spirit the horse!

This is how I want to feel again. Like Spirit the horse!

I’m wanting to go to sleep and wake up the next day and it be there but obviously it is not happening.

I’m wondering how it got to this point.  What made it disappear?  I think it comes with feeling too much.  Can that really happen?  I don’t know but again, remember I’m looking and trying to figure it out.  I also think it might have something to do with being overwhelmed in work and now teaching a grad school class for the next 3 weeks (it’s been 5 weeks total but we are already 2 weeks in).   Maybe it is just the stressors of life which I usually handle very well but right now, not so well.

With all that being said how do you continue on with this feeling?  I’m doing all my therapy work, reframing my thoughts, spending time in gratitude, and trying to stay positive.  I’m getting there.  But I, like everyone else, want it to be easy.  I want someone to just give it back!    I’ll keep you posted as to what it takes to get it back because I’m gonna find it!

How about you?  Does it happen to you?  How have you been able to make this past? (I would love to hear your thoughts) 

I’m hoping my upcoming vacation will help me with this issue and help me revive!  So let the countdown begin… 8 days and counting.

11 thoughts on “Do you have it?

  1. Life happens to us all, and can overwhelm. Take time out from your busy schedule and concentrate on what is really important in your life. Take a minute to stop and ‘smell the roses’.

  2. I don’t have it I’m sorry. And I don’t think you lent it to me. But I think I might have something like what you’re talking about.
    I’m not sure how I do it, but I learnt somewhere along the way to be a continual optimist. Everything has a good side, allowing you to discard the rest. And if you can’t discard the bad stuff, find enough positives so at least the scale is tipped towards good.
    Some people call it denial, but I choose to think of it as choosing to be positive.
    Enjoy your holiday! I hope you find what you lost!

  3. Pingback: Visualizing and getting closer to finding it! | therunningtherapist

  4. Hello!

    I ran into a very similar problem at the end of last year. It was my first year working and I wanted to hit the ground running and do EVERYTHING. I put in overtime, took on extra leadership opportunities, and also hit the gym hard. It was all good until September, at which point I began a 3 month health decline going from a healthy 170 lb to a gaunt 150.

    My solution? Slow it down! I specifically make time to just watch a TV show or something when I get home from work. I’ve also started playing softball instead of working OT, though once softball is over I’ll try OT again. For me it was about finding something recuperative even if it is active.

    I’m back at 170 lb again, and full of energy. I’m getting just as much done at work, and having a lot more fun. I think I just forgot what it meant to take a load off. I hope that helps! Good luck in your search.


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