Do you ever think, well once this is done then things will be alright or if I could just get that done then everything would be fine. And then when that thing is done you are left wondering, is it better? Or you are thrown a curveball. When things are going well, then BAM out of nowhere the bottom falls out and then your left wondering if things will ever just be NORMAL again or at least some semblance of what you thought normal would look like.
Well this will probably give you some clue as to where I have been recently. A little lost, trying to figure out the curve ball that has been thrown and trying to redefine what normal is or should look like. See it happens to all of us.
The bad part is that I have let it interfere with my work. Something I use to enjoy, I now question as to whether I can do it. I work hard, I listen well, and I believe my clients all benefit. I’m trying to figure it all out and the bad part comes in when others can’t let it go. Can’t let it go that I am struggling and insist on asking me “how are you doing?” I get it! I understand the concern, but let me figure it out! Give me some space. (This creates a little more empathy for me when someone is struggling in session, to not push it so far)
So this bad part happened today, fortunately at the end of the day and I did have some time to regroup before seeing my next client. And then I turned it into something good. I ran. I pushed myself and cut a full minute off my normal 3.5 mile run and it felt good. So sometimes being in bad space, overwhelmed, frustrated can (when channeled the right way) work to make you feel better. I am far from figuring everything out but at least I am blogging again so I am sure that will help. Here is hoping that there are no more curveballs thrown at me and I can begin to rethink those crazy expectations I seem to be putting on me and my life.