When I found this I thought it would be a perfect way to start off the month of November. Well since November is at the end of the week and this is “Motivational Monday” you will have plenty of time to make your list of three things and come up with a plan.
Yesterday I had an unusual finish to my day. It ended way earlier than I thought or wanted it to (being an outreach therapist sometimes this happens because believe it or not people don’t always show up for their appointments even if it is at their home and you come there). So I thought I would take advantage of a wonderful fall day and complete a long run, midweek and in the middle of the day. Sounds like a great idea right?! Well it sucked!
Oddly enough I wanted it to be great. I felt ready. I wanted to go 10 miles and make it long especially since I won’t be able to run a lot this weekend due to some family obligations. I was also excited to run because the weather was awesome, nice and cool yet sunny. I had my location picked, my local rail trail run. Off I went. Down the leaf covered trail, cautious at times because all the leaves covering the trails was quite slippery. And from the beginning I felt slow, awkward and not happy about my choice to run a long distance. But soon I found myself just doing it. Trying to get lost in the motions and not think about the pain/distance. This quote pretty much sums things up:
My head really started giving up when I was unable to locate my turn around spot (still haven’t bought that garmin so I rely on the markings on the trail and on this day it was covered by leaves). By the time I found a marker it was already 5.5 miles so I thought, I might as well go 6 and then turn around. This was also me trying to conquer the horrible mindset I was in. After finally turning back all I could tell myself was, “You are over halfway done!” I got to the finish and was so happy to be done.
As I look back at this run I begin to see how this is often my mindset in daily living especially when I am challenged. I find myself just trudging my way through the day and saying it will be great when this is over. Do you ever find yourself trapped here? I am not a fan. I consciously try not to live in this mindset and when I find myself here I get a little/a lot irritated!
So how do you/me get out of it? Well that is a good question.
Today I woke up and took my gift (the present moment) and unwrapped it and let it unfold like it wanted to. I tried not to control each movement, each thought and at times found myself saying things that I was not sure would work or comfort someone but just trusting and knowing that even if it didn’t work it wouldn’t cause someone harm. Maybe in fact it would challenge them to see things a little different. And you know what, it worked. I never know what I’m walking into when I visit a client which really is much like a run. As much as I prepare, I never know if my mind is going to take over or if my body is just gonna decide it doesn’t want to do this today but yet I trust. I trust that all the things I have learned all the training I have been doing are going to persevere and it will all be okay in the end. And really, it is! Or maybe I should say shockingly it is. It seems to work out when I let things happen and keep my mind control out of it.
PS – as much as the run sucked and it was farther than I wanted to go, I was glad that I got it in and today I got to rest!
No holiday for me and I guess this is the part where we probably should not talk about how Columbus did not really discover America but hey any reason for a holiday is a good reason (unless you don’t get the day off and then you begin to sound bitter [Which really I’m not]). So Happy Columbus day in America and Happy Monday to the rest of us.
Today was one of those really drab days that would be good for a run because there was a light mist but I did my long run yesterday and I am competing in a 5K tomorrow so today was a none run day (did you get all that, cause I did it in one breath!). Anyway, I had to find other things to do to keep me busy, which is not difficult because I have not been home for a Saturday in quite some time. So where did I end up? My closet! What did I find? An overabundance of running shoes. I know this should not shock you but it’s not like I am a professional runner and getting paid or even sponsored by Saucony but I am thinking I should be! Maybe not a professional runner but being sponsored by a running shoe company might save me some good money (if you have any hints on how to do this, please let me know. I love free stuff and I would whole heartedly provide my feedback to them through this blog).
Anyway, it was fun to look at the past few years in running shoes and see not only how the shoe has progressed but how my running has progressed. By that I mean how I started with a lot of padding in the shoe and have progressed down to not that much and now I enjoy a much lighter shoe that is not overly padded (no I am not into the barefoot shoe just yet but I have tried a couple of miles barefoot on the treadmill).
Now I have all these shoes and I keep meaning to take them to the running store because they have a box for recycling them which I love but I never remember to bring them. So instead I think I am going to take them to my local Goodwill thrift store so someone in my community can benefit from my expensive running shoe habit. I often struggle with the benefit of donating to a cause local or outside of my area mainly to other countries. It’s not that I don’t want people to benefit in other countries; it’s that I witness so many struggles locally on a daily basis that keeping it local sounds like a better idea.
Okay, so I really don’t have a problem but I do have a lot of running shoes. I’m sure all of us runners have the same issue too.
What do you do with your shoes? Ever thought about donating them locally?
Why do we hold on to someone when we know that we should let go and then it hurts when that person finally just lets you go? I mean, I start to think did I do something wrong? Even so much so that I retrace the events of the relationship and notice that each time it hurt, it was not me causing it. Why didn’t I take control and cut the tie earlier. Why did I hang on? Was I really hanging on or did I just think that it would hurt the person if I cut the tie?
Well here is the thing, before social media you could just no longer talk to someone and if your paths didn’t cross you both just drifted apart. You might think of someone a couple of times but you would just go on with your life never really knowing if the tie was cut, and guess what, I was okay with that. But since social media you know right away, or maybe not right away, but you are able to figure out that it happened.
So does that mean I stop using social media to avoid these situations? Nope. I love seeing my family and friends who are far away and then those that are close by, it is fun to see what they have been up too. Does this make me a voyeur? I’m not sure. I hope not. I really just love to see pics of people and be reminded that they are doing well. But as I write this it still makes me feel like maybe I do have those voyeuristic tendencies.
But back to the issue… are there other things we hold on to too long and should just let go? Why don’t we do it? Is it just easier to keep doing the same ole’ thing and expecting different results but never getting them? I think that is the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. But that is not the point of this post, which at this point I might have lost the point I was trying to make…
Oh wait, here it is. If you were gonna cut the tie but you held on to long and you were beat to the punch, why does it hurt? Because you didn’t do it first?! I think it hurts me because I felt like I gave more to the relationship than this person ever did and in the end I feel hurt that I gave so much. It is events like this that make us want to never share ourselves with others. We go out on a limb and we make the choices to allow someone to know the intimate details of our lives and then if it is not used against you (which I always hope it is not) at the very least you have told someone your dark secrets. Now don’t say you have never done this or that you don’t have things that everyone doesn’t already know because we all have them. We have those things that don’t come up in regular conversation, those events in our lives that once you know them about someone it explains a lot more about them. Usually when you know it, it makes you respect that person even more and changes the relationship.
The unfortunate part is that you can’t make the person ever unlearn what you have said when they decide to move away (but gosh you really want to). So maybe this is why there is pain. I’m not sure, I don’t have all the answers. But I know it hurts and it is ridiculous because really I moved on from the relationship many, many months ago. I guess now though, it is final! So now I will cope and move past the fact that this person has officially pushed me out of their lives. I will be okay (haven’t lost any sleep yet!) and I will in the end share things about myself and put myself out there mainly because I won’t change who I am because someone cuts ties with me!
It has taken me a while but I think I am finally figuring this slogan out. So much so I used it when talking to my friend who was getting ready to run her first half-marathon this weekend. I told her to “Run your own race and that we were just going for a run with 1000 of our closest friends.” She didn’t want to believe me but I am using it for myself at every race now and I am finally beginning to relax. It works, I promise. When all those faster people are passing you, just chanting to yourself, “my race, my pace” has been very effective.
This weekend I ran the Cranberry Half-marathon and I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted a new PR but I was hoping to get 1 hour and 55 minutes. When I started, I went out fast (8 min first mile) and I had to tell myself to slow down. So in trying to listen, my second mile was slower (8:10 min) I then began to just let my body run it’s race. I let it run and mentally kept it in good spirits by smiling and thanking those who came out to cheer us on. It worked. I ran my race, didn’t get discouraged and was able to keep my feet going forward (no walking!) and crossed the line with an incredible PR of 1:52:34. After I was able to get rid of my leg cramps, I felt pretty good (I still need to figure out how to work on those so they aren’t so bad). I also noticed that I finished 12th in my division out of 108, that was even more exciting only missing the top 10 by 10 seconds!
So now the therapy part of this, how can I use this to keep me going and living my own pace in life? Often I find myself overwhelmed and comparing myself to what others do especially at work. I think it comes from the fact I have to hit a certain number of client hours per week and with my competitive nature, if I am not doing it and others are, I get discouraged. But I know what I can do and what I can handle. I know my race, my pace. Some weeks I can handle more so I push myself harder, other times I can hardly wait for Friday and am glad I usually book it light.
Ways I slow my pace down are things like going for a run, going to my Monday night tap class, sitting and watching a movie/tv, reading a book, spending relaxing weekends away from home or even (believe it or not) cleaning my house.
Are you running your race at your pace? Are you letting others run it for you? What are some ways you can slow it down and make it yours and enjoy it?
Let’s do it together!
Here’s some pics from the weekend I thought you would enjoy:
I’m beginning to think these are the same things. I get stressed about things that make me nervous. For instance, I’m nervous about a half marathon coming up this weekend. Oddly, I am not stressed about the actual running it is more about the weather. This weekend it was predicting cold and rainy on Sunday and since I will be driving 2 hours to get there and spending the weekend I was overwhelmed with nerves. What do I take? What do you run in? When I have run in the rain in the past it has been close to home and if I get uncomfortable, I just go home. But that is not something that can happen with this event. It’s a race!
Then I started thinking maybe I should just go buy out the store for rain apparel but I’ve never run in that and I am not sure I want to run a race in new stuff. Especially when it is a half marathon, if it was shorter race than wearing something new would not be that big of a deal.
So I stress, I have nerves, and I try to figure things out…
The good thing is I am finding this stress motivating. Tonight I ran the fastest training run I have run to date. It was only 3.41 miles but I pushed myself. I did it knowing that my race on Sunday is much longer and that I would never be able to keep this pace (7:41 per mile) for 13.1 miles but I knew I needed to get it out there. I needed to push past the same old training run of improving only a few seconds at a time. I loved when my other half said, “are you hitting a new level?!” Because is some respects I am. I’m listening better to my body. I’m pushing myself to get the most and trying to not push myself to getting hurt.
In work and every day I am trying to do the same thing. I am setting better boundaries and not letting uncontrollable things control my mood. I have days I’m in a funk but finding it a little easier to get out. I am also not as hard on myself about things. I think we should all do this. Learn from me, don’t repeat my same mistakes!
PS – I just checked the weather for this weekend and it seems to be getting better and the chance of rain is leaving. Here is hoping it waits until the race is over!