Seeking approval

approvedSorry I haven’t written in a while.  Not sure whether motivational Monday’s really count since you don’t get to hear about my crazy thoughts going through my head.  So, here we go, crazy thoughts and all.

Yesterday I had a day that made me think (which is a good thing because you want a therapist to think so she/he can help you).  I wanted to write about it but sorry, had to go to Bunco with the crazy ladies I hang out with once a month for the past 9 years (wow, how time flies).

Anyway, I had a client who came in my office we chatted/did therapy for about an hour and at the end she asked, “how did I do?”  I was taken back by that question.  I’ve never thought of therapy of “how did I do” moments.  Being the constant motivator/encourager I replied with “you did great, let’s schedule for two weeks and see how you do then.”  We laughed and rescheduled.

As I look back I begin to wonder, was this an unusual event or do we all seek approval so much that we don’t even want to say the wrong things to our therapist?  Why do we constantly seek approval from others?  I can tell you right now that the last question has been answered that as I get older, I don’t do it as often, seek approval that is.   But what about seeking approval in strange places?

I know that when I started working in addiction (and even therapy in general) I was always concerned about whether the clients would see my weaknesses, whether they would think I did a good job for them, helped them.  I never really thought that the client would be thinking the same thing.  Why do we do this?  Well it does come back to my word of the year, “acceptance” as well as wanting to be liked.  I want my clients to accept me and want to tell me things so I can try and help them.  I also want to be liked.  I know sometimes it is better to be hard on clients and expect a lot from them but I still want them to like me.   So is there an answer for why we seek approval? I think it’s normal, has a lot to do with our self-esteem, and can even been sought at our therapist’s office when we are most vulnerable.

Just my thoughts from my crazy head….

What do you think… have you ever sought approval in strange places and now looking back and wonder why?

approval

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One thought on “Seeking approval

  1. I have been attending a therapist a year now while I don’t look for approval as much I still look for it and some times even praise which is never going to happen but it still frustrates me .
    I think I never got praise as a child so I am looking for it now

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