This is the big question rolling around in my brain right now. And the reason is because I had an incredible friend who ran the New York Marathon yesterday and did something amazing. She improved her marathon time by almost an hour and is still flying on Cloud 9. I am soooo proud of her and glad it happened. She totally deserves it.
Then that normal human trait hits and I start to wonder, “will I ever be able to do that?” I train hard but really she trained harder. I want it just as bad but then I remember how much she ran, how much she gave up each day and how she pushed herself almost at points of never wanting to run again and do I want it that bad?
I love to run, I love to feel free, go distances I never thought I would and achieve things I never thought I would. I feel very comfortable at distances from a 5K – half marathon and know that those are all very achievable and for the most part I usually do very well at them. My last half marathon I was third in my age group (I’m very satisfied with that).
But that marathon….it’s elusive.
I train really hard and do what I think I need to do and then the test hits and I do my best and hope and pray I will hit my goal, yet it still hides. Now don’t get me wrong, I am very happy completing 5 marathons and each one I learned a ton. This last one I did improve my time by 23 minutes over my April marathon but the desire inside me to go faster is really eating away at me and I’m not sure how to fix it.
Really what this tells me is that I’m not done. We all knew that. We knew that I was not done with the marathon even though at mile 23 in the marathon I have a very strong urge to never get there again. I really do think I don’t want that feeling either. I want to be successful. I want to reach my goal afterall isn’t that why we set them. To achieve them, to be inspired by them and hopefully obtain them.
I haven’t solved the question but I think I realize it’s gonna take some more sacrifices to get there.