I had one of those moments today, one of those moments of clarity that come along every once in a while when you really feel like you need it because you have been feeling off. Not really sure when it even started except I was driving home after a pretty successful day at work (which basically entails getting all the clinical progress notes written up the way you wanted and submitted by the end of the day and feel like you really listened to the person sitting in front of you.)
So anyway, back to the moment of clarity. I was driving along with the sun beaming in the car (yeah sun because it was only in the 20’s today) and it hit me. “I can do a marathon and the training will pay off”. I know, I know, I’ve been talking about it for a while but really this is the part in the training for something big that the self-doubt is the ruler at the table, the one who dictates your run (or at least my run) and when things go bad it takes quite a few days to get back on track. Well, hey you self-doubter marathon dictator, “I’m gonna beat you!” I might be tired due to the 21 miles I ran this weekend and quite frankly a little delusional from legs that feel like rubber bands (thank goodness today was rest day/tap dancing day) but I’m getting my mind directed on the right path. Yippee.
It kind of reminds me of when your favorite sports team is getting ready to enter the playoffs and they are ramping up their efforts and you are excited. Excited that they might actually pull off a big win and take it all and you feel confident. You can clearly see their path. That’s how I feel (not that I can win it all because I am not truly psychotic) but that I’m feeling inspired. A moment of clarity that it will all pay off in the end. A moment that all I have worked for is finally coming true.
I guess it really helps that I am loving what I am doing. I’m loving that I wake up each day to a great job and work with wonderful people. I’m loving that my family is around and we get to spend lots of time together. I’m loving that I am able to go the gym when it is just way to cold! I’m loving that I’m able to make my legs and body do things I never thought I was capable of. I’m loving that I get to spend some time with some of my oldest friends (24 years of friendship) in about a month and it inspires me to work harder.
A moment of clarity doesn’t just find you. I think you have to make a moment of clarity happen. You have to be putting the work and energy out there and be receptive to what is coming back. You have to be aware. You have to take it all in and live in the present moment. Well, here I am, awareness available, happiness and gratitude right at the forefront and ready to go along for the ride.