I took a few moments last night to look at my goals I set for the year in January here. What I found out is that I’m not sure I was tough enough on myself. I set a few challenges that I thought would be tough and they were a challenge but I stayed away from a mileage goal. I was never sure really how far these two legs (and let’s confess sometimes hands when I had to crawl to get finished) could take me.
In the back of my mind I was thinking I could try to make a goal of 1200 miles in a year but I never wrote it down. I guess you can say I just let things happen. Well last night I took a look at my miles. I was shocked. I never thought I would run as far as I have. As of today (after my 10 mile treadmill run at the gym because there was no way I was going to get outside in the cold, windy conditions) my grand total is 1054.59 miles. Holy crap! If I stay with the goal of 1200 miles, I should be able to actually hit that by the end of the month or close. Then I can take next month off right?! Well, we all know that will never happen! Life is too busy and crazy for me to stop running! How will I process all the crazy?
Here is how my goals have gone:
- Complete my first trilogy of half-marathons hosted by BA Events (already signed up for the first one in February.) – Completed it at the beginning of October! Can’t wait to get my “free” jacket in February.
- Run my second marathon and make it a much better marathon than my first in regards to preparation. – Well the second marathon was not so good and in fact it was my worse time ever but my 3rd marathon that I ran (and didn’t include in my goals because I didn’t plan on doing it until May) was my best marathon ever! So much fun, found a new friend and now I’ve signed up for OKC in April and hoping for an even better finish.
- Continue with my at least one race a month so I have a goal for each month to keep me motivated to run. – 3 more races planned – 2 for November and 1 for December. I did pretty good with this. I did not run a race in July or August due to how hot it was but I did 3 run/races in June and will still finish the year 14 races in the books! I would say that’s pretty good and I am motivated to keep going. Already looking for and signing up for races next year!
- Actively participate in my new running club (all signed up but haven’t done a run with them) – I did a few races with them this summer which is not great participation but I will keep my membership up and see if I can be involved with a few more next year.
- Enjoy running! – OH yes I do. I am having a lot of fun, learning to relax at races and not take them so seriously and wonderful things are happening. I love the running community!
I guess I will add on with number 6: 1200 miles for the year. What a crazy number! I wonder what next years will be?
Anyway, I was thinking that we tend to hold on to things too long. Sometimes its jobs, sometimes its friendships, sometimes its other relationships. Then I started to think about why. Why do we hold on to things even when we are not happy? Why hold on even though we know there are better things out there or at least we hope there is? Why do we get stuck in the same routine and not push ourselves to change? And most of all why do we hold on when the only emotional gain is only one of knowing you have the security but is that how you really want to live?
I feel like the biggest factor that keeps us stuck or holding on and unwilling to change is FEAR. We are scared of the unknown. We are scared of change. We are fearful of how life will be if we let go and move on.
I have had many times in my life where I have had to face fears and brave the unknown. Sometimes it went well, other times it was okay but most of all, it was never as bad as I made it in my head. In my head I could imagine the worst possible thing and just knew it was going to happen. But really much to my surprise it was never as bad as what I thought it would be.
In my work we have anagrams for the letters of FEAR
I think you can use the word recover to mean lots of things. Recover from the emotional loss you have from hanging on to long, recover and figure out what you want from life, and recover spiritually and mentally in your life to make the most of what you have. We are all on this planet for way to short a time to be stuck in fear and not learning to let go and move forward. It’s time to make the changes you want to make in your life even if it means leaping out of your comfort zone to do it. Believe me, it will be worth it.
How do you let go? Sometimes it happens slowly by making small changes while others you will be thrown into the need to change by life. But as much as you can, don’t be fearful, be planful (new word I just made up). Take a deep breath, decide what you want, and make a plan on how to get from point A to B. You might need options of C,D, or E but know that you have control and can make it work. I didn’t learn how to run a marathon all at once and even still after running three and many miles under my feet am I even beginning to understand how to do things. But I have a plan and I’m facing that fear very planfully!
Take the leap to let go and give a new plan a try.
Sorry for my absence… I’ve been stressing about my marathon that happened today so I have not felt like writing. But as I often promise, I will try to get a little better. I know, I know… as a therapist I should follow my own advice but believe me when I say (and have said before) I am my own worst therapist. I do pretty good most of the time but become overwhelmed when it’s something like a marathon.
Today being overwhelmed actually helped. I went into the race telling myself to slow down and just enjoy the race and shockingly that is what I did. I had a great first half and in the second half battled with some leg spasms but slowed down, hydrated, and kept on pushing.
Then I met a new friend, Judy. I thought she was struggling around mile 22 so I turned around and told her, “you got this”. (Turns out she was on the phone and was saying “okay, okay”) Anyway, I had started to walk a little and she came up and grabbed my arm and said, “we got this”. We spent the next 4 miles, running and walking and talking. It was the best. She tried to push me at the end to go on and I said, “No way, we are doing this together.” At that point she put her arm around me and I did the same and we ran across the finish line as the announcer said our names. It was incredible.
I love the running community! We go out as strangers doing something we love together and we push and encourage each other to finish. There were so many times along this course that I was able to run with others, encourage others and be the one that others encouraged. I am so thankful that I have been given the ability to run as well as the desire to push myself. I am sure I will do another marathon eventually but have decided that I really enjoy the Half marathon the most (okay other short races are pretty good too). Today just reminded me that I can set some lofty goals and achieve them if I just put my mind to it (okay now I sound like my motivational Monday quotes, but it is true)!
I hope if you ran this weekend, you met or exceeded your goals. And remember sometimes the goal is just about getting out there. I did something I never thought I would be able to do…I had a great time running a marathon, met a new friend, got a PR of 4:34:46, and I’m able to walk today with little difficulty (we will see about tomorrow).
As always, enjoy the pics and have a wonderful week: